To See With New Eyes

We added a new prayer to our bedtime ritual - a chant/manta actually, though the oldest created a new song about love and protection she insisted we sing. The baby has learned to stack hands and shout happy, so we did that too. I'm tired. I just want them to go to sleep.

Every day is a moment by moment occasion to give up something. Not as in stop doing, but really just not giving a good ... It takes them minutes to completely wreck the house. All I need to do is leave the room to cook dinner or wash the dishes, or shame on me, use the bathroom. And now that I have fussed them out for what I hope is the last time, I may just leave things as they are.

I am determined to see things differently, to find the smooth places in the path rather than stumbling through the daily debris. By the time night falls and self  assessment thumps my skull, I realize I have succumbed again to my distress.

What I need are new eyes. I need an entirely new approach to what are my chosen daily events that feel like struggles and challenges. My readings on kindness mock me. Be kind.

I feel crabby and out of sorts. I am pissed that I have not accomplished what I expect. I am angry that another has not picked up the slack. I would be hurt, but I know better. Mostly, I am out of answers, and questions. Be kind.

Be quiet. I am better at that these days. Better, that's all. At least in quiet I keep to myself the fuming that pushes to escape. As I type I feel like I won't get it together, but that is a lie. I will take the time to tend my heart, to relax. I will neglect the tasks that annoy me. There is always tomorrow, and if there's not, well, I'm not wasting tonight doing something other than what brings me joy,

I can see I need a bigger shift than I thought. I will trust in Source that just as my distress has been revealed, so will deliverance come. Be kind. Start with yourself.

Stumbling down the path...

In Bright Blessings.